


the color of the setting sun (is black)

by tyrosretell



Series: the last question [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Butterflies, Codependency, Connie Needs a Hug, Dreamsharing, Everyone Needs a Hug Honestly, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Horror, Identity Issues, Mystery, Panic Attacks, Pink Steven Needs a Hug, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Steven Needed a Hug, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, Trauma, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyrosretell/pseuds/tyrosretell
Summary: Blank, diamond eyes met hers once more, but a fire had already rekindled in her heart. Connie placed her free hand on Steven’s, pulling him closer into a cautious embrace. Steven’s head rested on her shoulder. His curls were as soft as (cotton candy) she remembered, but his lips were devoid of a warm breath. Connie closed her eyes and felt whole.-Things continue to change. The mystery continues. Connie struggles.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Pink Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Pink Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: the last question [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581430
Comments: 9
Kudos: 92





	the color of the setting sun (is black)

_“I would be lost, drifting alone_

_Floating up high, time after time_

_And there you'd be, shining brightly_

_Your smiling face, to guide my way”_

— “Hollow”, Yosh (Survive Said The Prophet)

She found him sitting on the beach, staring off into the distance. Connie walked over and sat beside him. His eyes drifted over to her before returning to the waves, which caressed the sand under the setting sun. It should have been a beautiful sight. Instead, Connie struggled to fight off the nausea that hadn’t left her since her fusion with Steven.

“Why did you leave?”

There was a long pause. Connie didn’t think he would reply. They continued to sit together in an almost comfortable silence before Steven spoke.

“I,” he started. Stopped. His eyebrows scrunched together. “He didn’t like hurting others.”

Connie swallowed, hope and trepidation mixing like acid within her. Steven had just spoken a full sentence.

“So you can’t, either?”

He looked at her, frowning.

“I… could,” he said. “He was afraid of me.”

“He was af—Steven, you know that you’re both the same, right?”

“ _No,_ ” he said, and the sand shook around them. Connie didn’t flinch. “Part of a whole. A part cannot be the whole.”

“But you’re _not_ part of a whole! I saw some of your memories—I saw—” Connie breathed in and in and in, fighting and losing the urge to wrap her arms around herself. The sun vanished below the horizon, leaving Steven to glow brighter against the contrast of the night.

He stood there, unmoving, and Connie thought— _He would’ve comforted me. The old Steven—no, the Steven I knew—know—no. Not right. Not right. None of this is right. This is Steven._

Connie shook her head. Following the rhythm of the waves crashing along the shore, she breathed in deeply. Slowly, the red ( _or was it pink?_ ) along the edges of her vision began to recede. The sharp pain from her hands finally registered, and Connie winced as she looked down to see red crescents ( _blooming like broken butterflies_ ) on the surface of her palms.

Exhalation left her with a sense of exhaustion. It had been a long time since her thoughts had spiraled. Now wasn’t the time for that. She looked back up at Steven, who had changed in neither posture nor expression. Connie waited a moment longer, counting the seconds in her head, before she said,

“We should go to the barnhouse.”

She turned to do so and expected Steven to do the same. That’s all he had done lately. Follow her ( _like they were Lisa and her falcon familiar, Archamicarus_ ). It brought none of the comfort it had back then.

Before she could move, Connie’s head jerked up when she felt cold fingers wrap gently around her wrist. _Steven?_

She turned around in time to see him lowering his head to her palm. He was down on one knee. Soon, warmth bloomed throughout her body, and any physical pain she had been feeling vanished. Steven’s eyes were closed. His expression seemed softer, and for a moment Connie thought—

Blank, diamond eyes met hers once more, but a fire had already rekindled in her heart. Connie placed her free hand on Steven’s, pulling him closer into a cautious embrace. Steven’s head rested on her shoulder. His curls were as soft as ( _cotton candy_ ) she remembered, but his lips were devoid of a warm breath. Connie closed her eyes and felt whole.

They did not fuse.

* * *

“ _Nothing_ makes sense!” Peridot screeched, tossing her tablet across the barn. She clutched at her head. “The _trail,_ the _environment_ , the _wounds…_ I haven’t been this confused about a crime scene since _Pink Diamond_ shattered—which makes me hope that this is another falsity—except we have Steven’s _corpse_ right in front of us!”

Almost everyone in the barn—including Lapis, who had flown up to catch the tablet—flinched. Steven alone remained still, but his grip on Connie’s hand tightened. His eyes were locked onto Peridot. 

Connie then glanced at Garnet, whose crossed arms tightened as she stood firmly beside Pearl. Their already-pale faces grew further ashen at Peridot’s comment, but they said nothing. They had been through much loss. They were devastated but accustomed.

Amethyst was not.

“So _what_ if nothing makes sense? Nothing _ever_ makes sense with us! But you know what I _do_ understand?” Her yell, despite its hoarseness, rivalled Peridot’s screech. “Steven’s _dead,_ and he died cold and alone out there in the snow! And we don’t even know why or who would—would—” As soon as Amethyst broke off, Garnet spoke,

“He pulled off the road. His car was still by the side of the road, but we… found him deeper into the woods. Why would he be there?”

“Was he confronting someone?” Pearl’s voice was quiet.

“Or someone confronted _him,_ ” Lapis growled. “There had been threats—”

“There had been _what?_ ”

“—and Steven didn’t want to worry you guys, especially with what happened with Bluebird—”

“Of course _that’s_ what Steven was concerned about,” Pearl moaned.

“The marks on the tires do indicate that he didn’t stop the car smoothly,” Peridot said, lifting her head from her hands. “The tracks suggest there was a corrupted gem, but there’s— _Clod!_ ” She groaned. “They were mostly covered by the heavy storm. They could just as well be from a gem with a larger and heavier physical projection.”

“None of Steven’s tracks were left, either,” Pearl said, eyes closed. “Why did he leave the car? Was he trying to help someone or defend himself? We have little to no idea how he reacted.”

“And the wounds!” Peridot exclaimed. She leapt up to draw several body diagrams on the board. There were several squeaks as the chalk made contact with the board several times—clean, even strokes through the head of the diagram, the shoulders, the chest, the legs. “Completely unnatural, like something stabbing out from the inside. Nothing like bite wounds. Closer to stab wounds. Maybe some kind of new Homeworld weapon? Nothing from Earth or Era 2 of Homeworld could form injuries from the inside—Connie?” Peridot stopped. “Are you—”

“Oh no,” Pearl said, following Connie as she yanked her hand from Steven and stumbled out of the barn. Connie only managed to grab the frame of the barn entrance for support before her stomach fully rejected her lunch. Faintly, she stared at the chunks on the grass and thought, _Well, there goes all the effort it took to choke down that sandwich._ When the ringing in her ears finally cleared, she realized Pearl was holding back her hair and saying, “—sake! She hasn’t seen the body, yet, Peridot—”

Connie thought that was strange. She loved watching horror movies and reading horror fiction. Gorey scenes never phased her; in fact, she found them to be interesting more often than not. Peridot wasn’t even describing anything in detail; her diagrams were elegant compared to the actual brutality that was probably involved with dying from stab wounds. Why was she hunching over and covering her mouth? Why was she continuing to gag and gag and _stabbing out from the inside_ **_muscle sinew tearing bone snapping_ ** _Steven felt that oh god Steven her best friend Steven died alone and cold and in blinding pain no stop Connie stop you need to breathe you need to calm down_ right now—

“Connie,” Steven said, and when did he get in front of her? He was wearing that frustrated expression again; Connie thought if his eyes were softer, it might have been an expression of concern. “You are damaging yourself. Open your eyes.”

Connie did. The first thing she saw was Pearl’s face twisting as she reeled back.

“Your _eyes,_ ” Pearl gasped, and Connie’s confusion was brief. She thought of her fusions with Steven, the nightmares that wouldn’t go away, the stray thoughts that felt intrusive and foreign.

 _Those weren’t my thoughts,_ Connie thought, a dull numbness settling throughout her. _They’re_ Steven’s.

She had always wondered what the long term effects of fusing with Steven so often would be on a molecular level. The only reason it was somehow possible was because Steven was half-human. This Steven wasn’t. Yet, they were able to fuse.

But Connie didn’t have time to dwell on what that meant for herself. She was Connie Maheswaren. She needed to do what she did best. Observe, learn, and find a solution.

“Threats,” she murmured, her gaze turning from Pearl to Lapis. “You said there had been threats. What kind? From who?”

Lapis didn’t respond. Her expression was a mix of fear, anger, and shock. Connie hoped she wouldn’t decide to attack. They had wasted enough time.

“ _Lapis,_ ” Connie repeated.

“Steven removed the authoritative power of a lot more gems than just the Diamonds,” Lapis said, settling on a look of caution. “He got plenty of threats. He never showed any worry about them. I’m pretty sure he thought he could talk them into peace or whatever, like he always does. Also, are you going to explain why your eyes look like that?”

“That could be a motive,” Connie said, “which narrows down the suspect list. Aquamarine and Eyeball are off-planet. How long has it been since we’ve seen Jasper? She’s the only gem that hasn’t been around Little Homeworld.”

Silence fell upon the room. Connie closed her eyes and heard Steven’s voice from years ago: _“We don’t want that ending,_ ” when it was really _her_ who wanted a different ending. It was too simple, too easy. But it was happy.

When Garnet spoke, her voice was low. Deadly.

“Jasper lives deep in the woods.”

And Connie thought, _I get why you liked the ending of the book, Steven._

* * *

_“But I, I know_

_That you're, long gone_

_But I, I will_

_Go on, howling and hollow_

_To never know”_

  
  
  



End file.
